The Lotus Collaborative — Psychologist in San Francisco, CA

while lotus could be a positive experience for others, it was extremely detrimental for me and significantly hindered my attempt to recover from my eating disorder. the collaborative claims to be accepting of all emotions, though you will be threatened with discharge for expressing anger or frustration with the programme or the staff. i was struggling with alcohol abuse at the time and was forced to go to alcoholic anonymous on a daily basis and get a signature from the secretary, which was never checked regardless, despite aa not being a conducive programme for me (i have since fully recovered through the use of addictive voice recognition technique). they demanded that i perform a urine or blood test to prove that i was not using, yet never made any attempt for this to be done and expected that i would be able to walk into a blood testing facility and pay the bill myself. you will be billed $250 for every day that you are unable to show up and $1900 if you decide to quit the programme entirely. this programme is for little rich girls that are able to travel the world, pursue their master's degrees, and spend their money with no concern. you are expected to provide all of your own food despite the rising cost of groceries in san francisco. the staff has no respect for your confidentiality and will share your private indulgences made with your therapist with other staff members and clients alike. their primary concern is weight restoration and not actually developing a positive relationship with food, and you will be threatened with discharge if you are unwilling to go to residential if you are not gaining weight fast enough. i was singled out by staff for my alternative appearance, strange interests, and career choice, for which i was called violent. i accused of threatening a fellow client and a staff member for a miscommunication in which i was attempting to put a SHEATHED knife in the lockbox. the clinical director is extremely condescending and acts friendly and rational in order to make your emotions feel invalid. if you're "normal" or "socially acceptable," you will be embraced by lotus with no problem. lotus made me feel like a freak and an outsider, like people like me do not deserve to recover. it has permanently damaged my relationship with my body and i am now terrified of eating disorder treatment --- what i got out of lotus was "if you want it done right, you should do it yourself." anna was the only staff member who embraced me for myself and i hope that she moves onto a better programme.

Lotus saved my life. I was with lotus for a year and I was definitely there longer than ANY of my peers throughout my time. I’d say the average is 3 months for various reasons. Amongst COVID, shifting staff, shifting locations, there was a big mess at lotus for a bit. But the staff really cared for me and understood where I was. It’s not perfect, nothing is, the staff made mistakes, I made mistakes. I’ve been angry and grateful at lotus simultaneously. I will say, however, that I think a lot of the issues are logistical and come from higher above and not the staff themselves. The people I interacted with daily, saved my life. They care. This is their passion. It’s hard, it was for me, to hear when you’re starting treatment, that you’re not going to be recovered when you leave…because recovery is a life long journey. For as long as you’ve had your eating disorder…it’s not going to just go away in a few months. The biggest difference I see at lotus between clients is the actual desire to recover…albeit wavering because giving up your ED is like slowly saying goodbye to a best friend. But you make the most of your experience at lotus. There are staff I liked at lotus and staff I didn’t. Don’t like your therapist? Ask to change. Don’t like your dietitian? Ask to switch. Advocate for yourself and your care. We all have different needs and sometimes a treatment facility doesn’t click. But lotus saved my life. My therapist Rebekah and my dietitians, Emily, then Maddie, then Anna…they saved my life. So did the RCs! Noren, Naomi, Kylie and many more before them. Lotus is always growing, turnover happens in the mental health industry, and insurance is the bane of treatment existence. We’re all working in a broken system for mental health. But the people at lotus are passionate in an often thankless job! I’m forever grateful for them. And for the record, I left way better than I came! I’m more stable than I was even if recovery is indeed, not linear! And I have the tools to pull myself out of the darker moments.

After careful consideration I have decided to write this review. I was a patient at Lotus and was asked to leave the program after making simple requests advocating for myself and politely pointing out flaws in the program’s execution. Nearly everyone on staff started literally 2 weeks ago, all the old staff left and new staff was brought in. I’m not exaggerating there were 2 existing staff members and 5 new ones- all training (!?) while clients are receiving care (!). The staff is largely made up of temporary interns working there only for one semester. This portion of the staff has only a bachelors degree (some not even that). The therapists have only a masters and no experience working with eating disorder clients at all. This is obvious in both their mannerisms and responses. There seem to be only two Lotus phrases: 1. “I wonder, how does that show up for you?” Or 2. “Recovery isn’t linear.” The staff make it obvious clients are there each day for an insurance billing statement as compared to being there for their own benefit/support. However, if you point this out (like I did) you will likely be removed from the program and the clinic director will speak to you in an incredibly derogatory tone (I had to ask *name redacted* to change her tone as she was speaking so rudely/condescending). The clients who are leaving are only escalating in care. No one is leaving Lotus healed. In fact it is even said that the goal of Lotus is not to heal you, but give you tools. I encourage you to find your tools elsewhere. This clinic did more harm than good in my case. The time I spent there was filled with seeing others’ suffering and misery cycle never improve. FYI The average patient has been there 7 months. If compassionate care is something meaningful to you, I implore you to seek alternate care and not waste time with Lotus. The DBT and CBT groups are just print outs from quick Google searches. Or a podcast played on a television or a documentary from YouTube or crayola products splayed out to express your feelings. There is no trauma expert. There is only one MD (psychiatrist) on staff for two clinics and she is only available virtually. (Also, there’s no decor or light fixtures there. There is a weird metal noose that hangs in the kitchen too.)